with your eyes, lieutenant, not your pants!

that “different types of attraction” post that’s been going around bugs the hell out of me, and I think this is why: it presumes humans know exactly what they want. I know, it’s meant to be reductive and simplistic in nature, but I just can’t stomach it. like, what if my experience is merely that a certain person makes me feel squishy and giggly inside and I don’t know why? what if I can’t for the life of me comprehend this feeling?

does it count as “romantic attraction” if I ~*~like someone, but mostly want to hold their hand and co-write academic papers? does it count as “sexual attraction” if I ~*~like someone and cannot currently fathom the idea of sex with them, but think, hey, if our relationship gradually grows into a romantic one over a seven-year period, after that, we should totally do it? I mean, I’ve experienced what I call sexual attraction and romantic attraction without explicitly desiring sex or romance with the person, respectively. what if I don’t know what the fuck it is I want? what if I can’t imagine a certain situation, but think I might want it anyway?

more importantly: why do we care? don’t get me wrong, I jump at the chance to codify most things, but this strikes me as false. the boundaries are too blurry. I can’t explain myself. this is about humans wanting other humans, and I for one don’t want cohesively or plainly or understandably.